Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
