I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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