Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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