But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
