You made me cry and you don't even care
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize