you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
