The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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