Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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