Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
