Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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