so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
