Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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