): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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