I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
