I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
