just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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