I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
