the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
