this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
