Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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