U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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