I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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