Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
