so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
