Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
