hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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