I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bring me that man meat
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
