Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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