all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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