i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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