I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
