tell your sister to shave her snatch
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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