Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
