I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
