wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
