I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
