I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
