if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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