Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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