i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
