i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
honey bunches of taint.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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