i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
