Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
