Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
