Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
