I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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