Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
