Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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