Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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