If i come over, it means nothing
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
