i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I party with great urgency now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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