Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
