im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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