I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
