yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
