i don't plan on having that self control this summer
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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