there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
