I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
