doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize