dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
