I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
