Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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